Why Prayer is Wrong and Bad and You Should Knock It Off

"Sweet baby Jesus, I am a miserable sinner, but please have mercy on me and help momma with the bingo. And also, please take care of Fluffy in Heaven. God bless America. Amen."

This is prayer for millions of people. This is what it means to pray for the majority of those who were taught this practice, those for whom prayer is a critical part of their spiritual lives. And it's evil. Of course, this is not what it ought to be, but if you could monitor it like internet traffic, or if some unholy Echelon is listening, this is what it's hearing.

The crux of such a message is this:

a) You have all the Power.

b) I have zero power.

c) Gimme.

That this is nothing more than fellating the Demiurge should be horrifically apparent. It is injurious to the Spirit, as it underscores the false assertion that we are not a part of the Divine, and that we have no right to power (pouvoir, ability) except through subordination and obedience. Such a practice in essence constitutes a pneumectomy, a deliberate surgical removal of the Gift of Sophia.

Rather than such a meek and (frequently) selfish supplication, prayer must be a radical, political act of intense examination and change. Each prayer, however simple, needs to be as violently historically impactful personally as, say, the Declaration of Independence is to the United States. I'm not that anymore, I'm this now. It's alchemical, the transmutation of lead into gold.

Such a declaration must be made in a state of adult mindfulness, neither arrogant posturing or insincere grovelling. One must approach prayer like a Knight on the battlefield, with realistic appraisal of protagonist and opposing forces, of the terrain, acceptable losses, risk and stake. That such a required attitude is so rare is due largely to our cultural religious education – most people carry with them the idea that G@d is powerful cranky guy with a beard, and you have to ask him politely for what you want, as though writing a letter to Santa Claus. We pray as children because that's when we really, REALLY want something, and also believe sincerely that we can make it happen by praying hard enough. We train this muscle, this prayer-reflex, and that's what we draw upon later in times of crisis. "Oh please Jesus, please don't let me be pregnant, I'll stop doing x tomorrow ohpleaseohpleaseohplease..." It's relying on old programming instead of taking adult appraisal and responsibility. Anything that starts with "Dear Lord..." isn't prayer, it's trying your luck, and not dissimilar to begging for change on the sidewalk. I know I'm not really entitled, but aw c'mon, gimme a break, will ya?

The transformative assumption in prayer is that, out there, there is a way I'm supposed to be – more creative, more intimate, braver, fair-minded, compassionate, more spontaneous, adventurous, calmer, rooted, deliberate, responsible, raw – and that I can bring that ideal state to the here and now by listening to that rather than all the competing, clamorous voices that make it easier to be this. Such simple fervency should terrify you. You are tuning a smuggled radio to a secret frequency, and your discovery places your life – at least what you think of the life you've created for yourself – in unrecoverable danger. Whoever wishes to be born must first destroy a world says Abraxas. Cracking open the eye of Shiva, making an omelette. Real prayer demands no less than human sacrifice – the surrender of the old, horizontal self on the altar of real, attuned Self.

You are declaring a revolution, the overthrow of the powers which govern your life in favour of a profound, fundamental shift that unites your divinity with your humanity. There is an excellent article on this process here: Detonating the Mind Bomb - Punk Rock Vedanta. The real question is, if prayer is not radical, political, transformative, sexual, artistic, creative, scary, raw, intoxicating, and yes, punk rock, then why the hell would you want to have anything to do with it?